


I will not open myself up this way again

by mienaiKnife



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: (in the flashback), Angst, Death Threats, Episode: s02e01-03: Orion Pax, Flashbacks, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Optimus’ emotions are inhibited by the Matrix, Other, discussion of the idea that Orion might’ve been a spy sent to sabotage Megatron’s uprising, kinda bordering on unrequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27392785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mienaiKnife/pseuds/mienaiKnife
Summary: Optimus Prime has been reverted to Orion Pax and Megatron has brought him on board the Nemesis. Now Megatron just has to pretend that his actions were all part of some grand evil scheme and not a foolish impulsive mistake he made trying to get his friend back.
Relationships: Megatron/Orion Pax
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	I will not open myself up this way again

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first AO3 upload! TFP has been eating my brain ever since I watched it to kill time in quarantine and I actually managed to write some fic for it! 
> 
> This started out as a few scenes from a much larger fic idea I had, so there's a remote possibility that this may get reuploaded as a chapter in a new fic, if I ever get around to writing it. We'll see. I make no promises, since I am a serial WIP abandoner.
> 
> Also, if you've read the tags, you've noticed "Optimus' emotions are inhibited by the Matrix"... this is a headcanon of mine based on my misinterpretation of some dialogue, without which I would've never come up with this 🤣 Happy accident
> 
> I hope you like it!!!

Orion’s processor was working overtime trying to comprehend what was going on. Megatronus had taken him through the bridge and into an unfamiliar base where he’d introduced him to a very confused medic, who had to be pulled aside and away from Orion to explain his very presence, and he was now being subjected to a medical evaluation.

Except a medical evaluation didn’t explain why the bright red medic was now pointing a torch at the undamaged armor of his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Orion had awkwardly avoided talking to the medic so far, sensing a vague unease from him, but now he flinched away. The evaluation hadn’t seemed to find anything significantly wrong with the archivist’s frame or code. 

“Giving you the Decepticon insignia,” the medic explained. “Since you’re one of us now, apparently.”

There it was again. This medic was awfully curt, making Orion uncomfortable enough to not question him despite his need for answers. He wished Megatronus would return from wherever he was, since he was the only bot Orion recognized in this strange place. However long he’d been in stasis, it was long enough for things to have become so different now, surrounded by bots he didn’t recognize in an unfamiliar place… he didn’t know how to feel about it. Or at least that’s how he rationalized the strange numbness he felt. 

When Megatronus returned, he knew he should’ve been happier and more relieved, but those emotions only ghosted across his processor.

  
  


Megatron would not allow himself to view this as a mistake, despite Soundwave’s insistence. For a mech that never spoke out loud and had ostensibly removed his emotions long ago, his oldest ally sure did seem to fret over him. 

“This course of action: unadvisable. Orion Pax: almost certainly still a spy,” Soundwave commed. And that had been the intelligence officer’s theory since before the fall of Cybertron: that Orion had been ordered to keep tabs on Megatron without ever believing in the cause or caring about him.

Megatron didn’t want to argue that point and he felt he didn’t have to. “Even if that were true, he has no Council to report to. We have the upper hand. And indeed, he may be our best chance at finally decoding our Iaconian archives,” he said, because that had been the one concrete tactical advantage he had come up with for having Orion onboard since bringing him here.

“Lord Megatron: cannot hide your true nature forever. Orion Pax: will uncover your deception. Lord Megatron: cannot change the course of history.”

Megatron growled. Soundwave could be stubborn when he wanted to be, despite his loyalty. “He can still be of use to us. And I need you to sanitize the ship’s data core to ensure that he is,” he turned and glared at his subordinate. “And that is an order.”

Soundwave departed without another word. Now Megatron would have to return and get Orion, whom he had probably left in the care of Knock Out for too long already.

“Orion!” he said with a warmth that came a bit too effortlessly as he entered the med bay. “I apologize for the confusion, but if Knock Out here has found that you’re in good health then that means it’s time for me to show you around the  _ Nemesis _ .” 

“He’s fine,” Knock Out replied. Perhaps if he had actually found anything suspicious in Orion’s code, he wouldn’t mention it in front of the mech in question, so Megatron resolved to speak to the medic later. 

“We’re on your ship?” Orion finally spoke up, looking Megatron right in the optics with naive trust. It was an expression that Megatron hadn’t seen on that face in millennia, and he didn’t want to think too hard about how it made him feel. “Are we still on Cybertron?”

“Come, there is something I must show you.” Megatron beckoned his old friend towards the bridge. 

Orion rose to his pedes and left Knock Out behind.

  
  


“I cannot believe Ratchet capable of such horrors…” Orion stared wide-eyed into the screen displaying images of his decimated homeworld. 

Megatron could only hope that he did believe it, though. At least long enough for the archives to be decoded. As long as Orion remained oblivious and Megatron could control this thrumming in his spark, everything would be fine. “Yes… and to think that the Doctor of Doom’s mad quest for power continues…”

With every word he spoke, he wracked his processor for the words that would elicit the most sympathy from the archivist: “His marauders pursued us to this planet. We feel its species are not ready to behold us, but we have resolved to protect this world from the same tragedy which was dealt to our own.”

This future that Orion found himself in was so much worse than anything he could’ve imagined before his stasis. He looked out at the planet he once called home lying in grey, crumbling ruins, abandoned for millenia, and he felt… numb. He knew he should be angrier but he inexplicably wasn’t. He knew he should be mourning the loss of the Ratchet he once knew, now apparently consumed with a lust for power, but he couldn’t even describe the way he felt as “sad.” There was just this empty pit in his spark chamber, telling him that something was missing. Something was horribly wrong, not just with the world he found himself in, but with himself.

Still, he endeavored to pay attention to what his old friend was saying.

“One question, Megatron…” Orion began. “Why are we called Decepticons?”

Megatron thought for a moment, then decided that a half-truth would suffice. “Another craven Autobot scare tactic… the name was meant to demonize us. Instead, we wear it as a badge of honor, for if speaking the truth is deception, then we are most gladly guilty.”

Orion could only internally remark that, if nothing else, that seemed very in-character for Megatron. He nodded. 

“Now please, Orion, there will be plenty of time for catching up. You must rest,” Megatron finished, turning away to leave the archivist alone with his thoughts.

“Megatron,” Orion’s voice stopped him. “I will do my part to stop Ratchet’s unspeakable crimes of aggression. This I vow with all my spark.”

Turning back around, Megatron allowed himself to enjoy this small victory. He had managed to pull this plan together quite well, and now his former sworn enemy would be serving him. 

  
  


Orion was mulling over the bits of code he had already decrypted, double or triple checking to make sure he hadn’t made any mistakes or misread the output, when Megatron first checked in on him in his chambers. “Orion, how fares Project Iacon?” 

“I am a bit rusty, I fear…” Orion began uncertainly. “It may be that my long-term stasis is still affecting me.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure Knock Out would’ve said something if that were the case,” Megatron was determined to push aside any distraction that would prevent Orion from completing his task.

Orion suppressed a sigh, turning back to his work. “Of course. My apologies. So far I’ve only decoded three entries, logged by Autobot archivists sometime after I entered stasis. They are coordinates, although I do not yet know what they are coordinates to, targeting locations on this very planet.” 

Megatron turned to the display that lit up to the side of the room, showing the coordinates on a hologram facsimile of Earth. “Hiding spots, do you think?”

“They could be anything that the Autobots decided to store offworld for safekeeping. Most worryingly, they could be… weapons of mass destruction.”

Megatron grinned. “All the more reason it is essential that we do everything in our power to keep said vessels from Autobot reach,” he said as he turned back towards Orion, placing a servo on his shoulder. Trying to show respect and admiration without being too affectionate. “We are fortunate to have you on our side, Orion Pax.”

Orion was once again silent just long enough for Megatron to begin leaving, swiftly removing his servo from the other mech, before the archivist spoke up: “I have no recollection of what might’ve lead to my being locked in stasis for so long but I… regret leaving you behind for so long that all of this could’ve happened.”

That stung Megatron more than Orion could’ve possibly meant it to. Either Orion never meant to betray him the way he did, or it was all a rotten lie meant to sabotage everything Megatron had worked so hard for. And of course Orion would have no reason to give up the lie even if his stint as a honeypot was functionally over, not if it guaranteed him safety in a dangerous new war-torn world.

“Well, perhaps now you have the opportunity to make it up to me.” Megatron kept walking to the door.

“I know I should be happier to be here with you.”

Well that… that came out of nowhere. Megatron stopped dead in his tracks. “What was that?”

“Well, I-” Orion immediately regretted speaking so impulsively and phrasing that statement so badly. Perhaps once he could get away with speaking so openly to Megatronus, speaking however clumsily he needed to at first just to get the words out before amending them out loud, but now he had to remember that Megatron had lived through millenia without him. Things were different now. “I’ve been feeling strange ever since I awoke from stasis. Numb, sort of. But I…”

And perhaps the lack of racing pulse or affection threatening to explode from his chest would make this next part easier. It did also make it feel more pointless, but Orion couldn’t mistake those feelings he felt so many years ago. It was about time he came out with it.

So he padded forward and took one of the gladiator’s servos in both of his own. “I care for you very much, Megatron.”

Megatron had rapidly lost control of this conversation. He was still frozen as he began to feel all his rage for his sworn enemy Optimus Prime rushing back, after it had been gone so temporarily.

He shook off Orion’s servos. “You’re lying.”

“No, I swear I’m not-”

But Megatron wouldn’t hear it, instead storming out of the archivist’s quarters. It was everything he could do not to scream at Orion about everything that had happened that he couldn’t remember any more, breaking the facade and maybe even the smaller mech’s frame. 

He should’ve listened to Soundwave.

He should’ve known this would happen, that history would repeat itself.

  
  


_ Orion wasn’t sure why Megatronus had stormed out of their meeting with the Council the way he had, but if it had been something he said that set him off then he knew he had to make it up to the other mech in some way. This should’ve been everything they were hoping for. The council had listened, albeit more to Orion than to Megatronus, but Orion hoped Megatronus wasn’t jealous about that or anything. Really, this should reflect well on the both of them in the long run. As long as Megatronus had Orion by his side, their movement had an important air of respectability, and indeed Orion could always keep Megatronus’ more violent tendencies in check. _

_ He knew where the gladiator had to be, of course. It would be more difficult to get a Kaonite into Iacon than the inverse, so Orion knew his way to Megatronus’ living quarters by now, since they spent so much time there together already. _

_ Orion pushed out his EM field to see if he could sense his friend inside, but he didn’t expect that to cause the door to burst open almost instantly. _

_ “You shouldn’t have come here, Orion Pax.” _

_ “Why not? Look, I know I must’ve done something to upset-” _

_ “After what you did I don’t want to see your face anywhere near me or any of my rallies, do you understand?” Megatronus hissed. _

_ Orion balked. Megatronus wasn’t always the most even-tempered mech, he knew that, he understood where it came from, but what could be causing him to threaten Orion like this? _

_ “M-Megatronus-” _

_ “Next time we face each other, it will be as unambiguous enemies, and I will not hesitate to offline you,” Megatron raised his cannon and aimed it squarely at Orion’s spark chamber. _

_ Orion had enough sense to run. _

  
  


Megatron didn’t particularly care if any of his subordinates saw him storming towards his quarters, knowing that they would at least have the sense not to bother him in this ultra-violent state. He only cared about getting far away from Orion Pax as soon as possible. Normally he would lean into this rage and let it fuel him to fight Optimus Prime with everything he had, but if he managed not to blow up at Orion right now he could possibly salvage Project Iacon. He just had to hope that Orion would go back to work after getting the message that Megatron wasn’t interested in getting involved.

Even as he felt his spark ache for that.

It was truly shameful that these feelings were still lying dormant within him after all these years of war and hatred, only to be revived by an illusion of his old friend returning to him.

The friend that he had to remind himself he never really had. Not if Soundwave was right. And really, Soundwave’s was the most plausible theory, since a comfortable Iaconian mech would never stick out his neck to save some killing machine Kaonite without an ulterior motive. And the ulterior motive was obviously that Megatron had been a known revolutionary and the Council had every reason to want to sabotage him.

Orion had never really seen past his traumatized rage and loved him for who he was.

Megatron was glad that he was almost at his quarters just as the tears began to prick at his optics, until he heard running pedesteps down the hall behind him. 

Forgetting his conspiratorial thinking from a moment ago and remembering the mech he fell in love with, Megatron thought  _ of course that little twerp would run after me _ .

Orion might not have been driven by emotion per se at that exact moment, but he knew deep down what he had felt before and he had to make Megatron understand.

He was fighting the emptiness with all his spark. And little did he know that he was actually winning, that the damper on his emotions that had been fighting desperately not to lose its last bit of control over him was slipping.

“Megatron!” Orion kept his voice down but he spoke urgently, and he didn’t stop running until he was immediately behind Megatron and slipping through the closing door. “I know I might seem apathetic now, but it’s because I know so strongly how I feel for you that this emptiness feels so wrong! And I’m so, so sorry that I left you behind to fight this terrible war, however that happened. But right now, I want to be with you and do everything I can to heal our world and stop the Autobots. I’ve been in love with you since before this war began, and I’m begging you to believe me when I say this.”

Megatron had no hope of stopping the tears in front of Orion. His rage had left him once again, but this swirling mixture of longing and sadness paralyzed him. Even if he believed that Orion had never been a spy, the fact remained that Orion had long since transformed into Optimus Prime. There was no guarantee that this amnesia would last. 

Primus help him. Or Unicron. Whoever. Point is, Megatron was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. 

Wordlessly, he spun around to face Orion, grabbed him by the helm, and kissed him.

The shackles on Orion’s spark finally gave out and shattered. Orion kissed back hungrily, too desperate to be chaste. Even without having been conscious for these past centuries of war, he felt like he’d been waiting far too long for this.

And if Megatron had been capable of rational thought at that moment, he might’ve thought  _ well at least Optimus will be humiliated when he finds out about this _ , but he was preoccupied with committing as much of this moment as he could to memory, every little detail about this intimacy with the mech he’d been pining for a shamefully long time.

Orion pulled away for a moment. “You don’t have to do this,” He breathed meekly, half sure what the answer would be.

“Oh, but I will, little archivist.”

And that had been exactly the reaction he expected.


End file.
